J Hummons | Author & Teacher

Relationship Before Position

RLA-W01 — Relationship Before Position

Relational Leadership & Authority

Definitive Student Workbook Assembly

Corresponding Website Teaching: RLA-T01 — Relationship Before Position Formation Movement: Relationship Governing Scripture: Mark 3:14 Canonical Sequence: CALL → RELATIONSHIP → FORMATION → ASSIGNMENT → REPRESENTATION Assessment Lens: Alignment • Character • Relationship • Multiplication

Unit Purpose

Relational leadership begins before title, authority, assignment, or visible responsibility. Jesus first called the twelve to be with Him, and only then did He send them to serve.

This unit helps you examine whether your understanding of leadership begins with relationship or position, whether you are allowing relationship with Christ to shape your inner life, and whether the relationships around you are becoming environments of genuine formation rather than merely structures for accomplishing tasks.

The objective is not to make you suspicious of leadership positions. Position has a proper function. The objective is to establish the correct order:

Relationship before position. Presence before performance. Formation before function. Responsibility before recognition.

1. Learning Objectives

By the end of this unit, you should be able to:

Explain why relationship precedes position in Kingdom leadership.

Identify the difference between relational formation and merely performing a leadership function.

Describe the progression from call to representation.

Distinguish between the governing principle of relational leadership and the various mechanisms used to express it.

Recognize ways position can become disconnected from relationship.

Evaluate whether your current leadership relationships are primarily transactional or formative.

Identify at least one area in which Christ is forming you before increasing your responsibility.

Develop a practical commitment to place relationship, formation, and faithful representation ahead of title or recognition.

2. Governing Scripture Study

Mark 3:13–15

Read Mark 3:13–15 slowly.

Pay special attention to the order in verse 14.

Jesus appointed the twelve:

first — that they should be with Him,

and then:

that He might send them forth.

Observe the Order

Write the progression you see in the passage.

Jesus called:

They were first appointed to:

They were later sent to:

Authority was connected to:

Reflection

Why do you think Jesus placed being with Him before being sent by Him?

What might happen when a person receives responsibility without sufficient relational formation?

3. Core Formation Principle

Relationship Before Position

Position tells us something about what a person is responsible to do.

Relationship helps form the person carrying the responsibility.

A title can identify function.

A title cannot create trust.

An appointment can establish responsibility.

An appointment cannot produce character.

A structure can define accountability.

A structure cannot automatically create relational maturity.

Therefore, the question in Kingdom leadership is not merely:

What position do I hold?

It is also:

Who am I becoming through the relationships in which God is forming me?

4. The Formation Sequence

The first RLA formation sequence is:

CALL → RELATIONSHIP → FORMATION → ASSIGNMENT → REPRESENTATION

Call

You are invited into relationship before you are defined by function.

Reflection

Where have you sensed God inviting you into deeper relationship before greater activity?

Relationship

Shared life creates opportunity for trust, understanding, correction, belonging, and growth.

Reflection

Who currently has meaningful relational access to your life?

Formation

Relationship exposes motives, habits, strengths, weaknesses, and values that need to be shaped.

Reflection

What area of your character is presently being formed?

Assignment

Responsibility should increasingly correspond with maturity, faithfulness, and capacity.

Reflection

What responsibility has presently been entrusted to you?

Representation

Mature authority is not self-expression. It is faithful representation.

Reflection

Whom are you representing when you exercise leadership?

5. Key Vocabulary

Relationship

A shared relational environment in which people become known, trusted, formed, strengthened, corrected, and developed.

Position

A recognized role, office, title, or responsibility within a family, ministry, organization, community, or other structure.

Formation

The process through which character, understanding, motives, habits, values, and maturity are shaped.

Assignment

A responsibility entrusted to a person according to calling, maturity, capacity, and purpose.

Representation

Faithfully carrying the heart, values, character, and purpose of the one whose authority has been entrusted.

Relational Leadership

Leadership that understands people as persons to be known and formed rather than merely resources to be managed.

6. Presence Before Performance

Complete the following statements honestly.

Performance asks:

What can I __________________________________________?

Relationship asks:

Who am I __________________________________________?

Now consider your present season.

Do you tend to measure your value by:

productivity,

visibility,

recognition,

effectiveness,

title,

approval,

or relationship with Christ?

Write what most strongly affects you.

Formation Reflection

When no one is applauding, what currently motivates you to continue serving?

7. Formation Before Function

Consider the following statement:

A person may know how to perform a responsibility without yet possessing the maturity necessary to carry its relational weight.

Describe a situation where this could happen.

What character qualities should develop before significant influence increases?

8. Principle vs. Mechanism

One of the governing lenses of the RLA series is the distinction between Principle and Mechanism.

The Principle

Relationship precedes position.

Possible Mechanisms

Relationship and formation may occur through:

mentoring,

pastoral relationships,

small groups,

apprenticeships,

leadership teams,

discipleship,

family relationships,

ministry service,

coaching,

shared work,

intentional conversations.

The mechanism can change.

The principle remains.

Application

Name one mechanism through which you are presently being formed.

Is that mechanism actually producing meaningful relationship, or has it become mostly structural?

How could the relationship become more genuinely formative?

9. Transactional or Relational?

Place a mark beside the description that most closely reflects your present leadership habits.

Transactional Leadership Tendencies

I tend to notice people primarily when something needs to be done.

I communicate mostly around assignments.

I become frustrated when people are not immediately productive.

I know people's abilities better than I know their lives.

I tend to evaluate people primarily by results.

I move quickly toward responsibility without much relational history.

Relational Leadership Tendencies

I take time to know people beyond their usefulness.

I seek to understand what God is developing in them.

I create room for questions and honest conversation.

I am willing to slow assignment when formation is incomplete.

I consider character as well as gifting.

I want people to become mature, not merely productive.

Reflection

Which side presently describes you more accurately?

What is one change you need to make?

10. Self-Examination — Relationship

Answer honestly.

1. Do people primarily experience your role or your relationship?

2. Do you make time to know the people you lead?

3. Are there people whose value to you has become connected mainly to what they can do?

4. Are you attempting to gain through authority what should first be built through trust?

5. Are you more interested in developing people or accomplishing tasks through them?

11. Self-Examination — Character

Relationship becomes the environment in which character is exposed.

Consider your present leadership relationships.

What weakness becomes most visible when you work closely with people?

What strength becomes most visible?

How do you normally respond when someone who knows you well corrects you?

What does that response reveal about your present formation?

12. Self-Examination — Alignment

Relationship with Christ should progressively reshape your understanding of leadership.

Complete the following:

Leadership once meant to me:

Through relationship with Christ, leadership is becoming:

One area where my thinking still needs alignment is:

13. Case Study — Promoted Too Quickly

Daniel is highly gifted. He communicates well, attracts people, and appears confident. After only a short time in a ministry, he is placed over a growing team.

Within several months, problems appear.

Daniel struggles to receive correction. Team members say he communicates mainly when he needs something done. He becomes defensive when questioned and interprets disagreement as lack of loyalty.

The leaders realize they recognized Daniel's gifting but did not take enough time to observe his relational maturity.

Discussion Questions

What did the leaders recognize correctly?

What did they fail to evaluate?

Which part of the sequence was accelerated too quickly?

CALL → RELATIONSHIP → FORMATION → ASSIGNMENT → REPRESENTATION

What should happen next?

How could Daniel's development continue without humiliating or rejecting him?

14. Case Study — Relationship Without Assignment

Maria has served faithfully for several years.

She is relationally connected, receives correction well, demonstrates consistency, cares for people, and regularly helps younger members grow.

However, leadership continues to involve her relationally while never entrusting meaningful responsibility.

Discussion Questions

Can relationship before position be misused to delay appropriate development?

What evidence suggests Maria may be ready for greater responsibility?

Why must relational leadership eventually move toward assignment?

What would an appropriate next developmental step look like?

The goal is not simply relationship without responsibility.

The healthy sequence is:

relationship producing formation that prepares a person for appropriate assignment and representation.

15. Formation Exercise — Your Relational Map

Identify up to five relationships currently shaping your leadership formation.

Person 1

Relationship: ____________________________________